Her Vampire Temptation (Midnight Doms Book 8) Page 16

  “Does every vampire start out…killing?” I don’t even know the questions I want to ask.

  “Usually. The blood lust is a powerful urge. As we age and mature, we can temper it down. Control it. Develop our powers. You’re born as a wild animal and need to tame yourself.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah.”

  He adds: “If you’re created by a powerful vampire, they can help you adapt without resorting to violence. Teach you how to control yourself from the beginning. Most haven’t done that. Even if you try to help your offspring, you sometimes fail. Like I did, with Karl.”

  “I see.” I bite my lip.

  “No, you don’t. Not really.” His voice is hard. “It’s like being suddenly and completely addicted to meth and crack cocaine and alcohol at the same time, at a level that’s a thousand times higher than any addict has ever faced. And you have to tame that and hold it back. You have no idea.”

  He stands up, takes a breath. I can almost see him calming himself back down. “And I’m glad you don’t. It’s not a good way to live.”

  “But you said you do good things now. Right? Tell me.” I reach out my hand: An apology, maybe. Or at least a bridge.

  He sits back down and takes my hand. I feel the tingles of attraction immediately. With Slash, it was a grasp of friendship. With Alain, it’s like I’m giving over my entire body to him.

  “I started a foundation with expert medical doctors to work on cutting edge research into diseases like ALS and MS. They’re working fast to come up with novel techniques to reduce symptoms. Look for a cure. For prevention.”

  “Wait. Do you mean...Dr. Albright?” My voice goes up. “The one I work for?” I don’t wait for an answer. “She’s the expert in the news working on MS research. She mentioned an Alain when I was there one night. It was you, wasn’t it?”

  “Ah, yes.” He clears his throat. “Lacey Albright.”

  “I knew it!” I congratulate myself. “It’s not a common name. At the time, I wondered.” But I’m confused. “You do finance, right? Are you also a doctor or something?”

  He shakes his head. “I’m no doctor, and I can’t do what she does. I created the foundation and the labs specifically to work on research into those areas.”

  “Why?”

  His voice gains an eager note. “I can help accelerate the work and carry it forward. With my support, then humans can work faster than before, and we can come up with cures. It’s the thing I live for.” Now I see the spark in his eye. “It almost makes all of that other stuff I mentioned—the depression, the loneliness—worth it. Because I have this incredible goal.”

  “So you do trust some humans? Or is Dr. A. a vampire, too?” A surge of curiosity and jealousy flows through me, even as my heart warms to hear his story. Dr. A. didn’t seem like a vampire. But then again, neither did Alain, when I first met him.

  “She’s fully human, and she’s the only doctor who knows the truth about me.”

  “She’s amazing.” I bite my lip.

  “Yes.” He’s gesturing now, completely into his topic. “Bri, with her running the medical research facility, and me bringing her state of the art equipment and resources, it’s untold what we can accomplish!” His face sobers. “And I can’t have anything detract from that goal. Like Karl.”

  I shudder, thinking of his Karl’s face. His eyes.

  But I don’t want to talk about Karl.

  “What changed you?” I turn to look into his face. “From a killer to a rescuer.”

  “I don’t know.” He has a distant look in his eye. “Time, maybe. Learning more about the world. The older I get and the more in control of myself, the more I see that I have a duty to help humans. That maybe it’s been my goal all along. That I am duty bound to use my skills and talents to help the world advance. I can still be part of the human race, in a different way.”

  “Do other vampires feel the same way?”

  “Some, maybe. Others, no. We’re all at different places in our journey.”

  “What Slash said…about you and me. About our future…”

  He sighs. “He shouldn’t have opened his mouth. Little bastard.”

  “But it’s true, isn’t it? We get along right now. But I’m going to get older, hopefully.” I laugh a little. “Someday, God willing, I’ll be an old lady.” I feel tears in my eyes. “I’d be like your Grandmother.” The thought is horrifying and ridiculous at once.

  “Stop.”

  “But it’s true. We have an expiration date, no matter what happens.”

  “Mmm.”

  “Have you ever been tempted to turn someone into a vampire? For a girlfriend or wife? I don’t know what you’d call it.” My heart speeds up. I don’t necessarily want to be a vampire…but something inside my heart hopes he’ll say, yes. You.

  “No.” His answer is immediate. “It’s too risky. Many humans die in the process. Even if they survive the transition, a large number become enemies because they never get over the shock, the anger, the difficulty of being immortal. They blame the one who turned them. I would never risk it.”

  He adds, “Besides, it would only be a distraction. I have my work right now. That’s all I need.” His voice is vehement, as if he believes what he’s saying 100%.

  The disappointment that wells up in me is crushing, but I fight to hide it. “So that’s why you wanted just one night.”

  “Yeah.” His voice is bleak. “And why I wipe women’s minds after we’re together. There’s no point in anything more for either of us.”

  “That must be so sad.” I speak without thinking. “Never having a solid future. Even though you have an infinite one.”

  He touches my cheek. He looks into my eyes. “Being with you, Bri. It’s the most pleasure I’ve had in—“ he pauses. “A long time.”

  I touch his face too. “Me too.”

  “And I don’t want this to end, yet.” His voice is low. “Because I care about you. Being with you gives me joy.”

  “Me too.” My eyes are misty with emotion and my voice quivers. “Me too.”

  He holds me gently. Neither of us speak.

  And although no promises are made and no vows exchanged, I swear it feels as if we’re committing to each other. Because the thing I see in his eyes behind the talk of impermanence feels like it’s bound to last forever.

  Chapter 20

  Bri

  A few days have passed. Strange chunks of time. I’m living in a vampire’s home, hanging out with other vampires, and the whole time, my life is in danger.

  In some ways, I’ve never been happier. Being with Alain—even with the danger, even with his disturbing past and the fact that he’s immortal—completes me in a way I’ve never known. Every minute we spend together, I feel like we just belong with each other. The sex is out off the charts phenomenal. Even after our fight—or maybe especially after our fight.

  Even though he flat out said he’d never consider turning another human immortal, I swear he cares about me in a way he can’t even elucidate. Like there’s something there in his eyes, a deepness that goes beyond our differences.

  Unfortunately, the situation with Karl is getting dire. The police have not been able to find the missing women. Knowing what we know—that they’re probably being used as a living blood bank, makes it critical that we find them immediately…before it’s too late.

  And being the only mortal one in the house makes me an outsider. Not to mention a security risk.

  Alain is on the phone with Tiberius. “No, out of the question. Absolutely not. She stays here, where she’s safest.”

  I know they’re talking about letting me go back to my own apartment and having a vampire guard stand inside my door to prevent any other vampires from trying to get in.

  “No, she can’t do that. She needs to stay completely under the radar.”

  It’s been a constant topic of discussion lately: How to keep me safe. Away from Karl. It seems to take as much time as the actual hunt
for Karl, which makes me feel very guilty.

  Every evening, Martin and Slash join Alain for long discussions, after which one or two of them disappear for hours scouting.

  Tonight, I hover at the edge of the kitchen, listening. They’re sitting at that fancy inlaid table in the dining area, and Slash has his laptop open.

  “Okay, so I got the person who turned off the security cams at the Gila Diagnostics. It’s a Wallace Grainger. Says he’s thirty-two years old, lives on the South side. Got his home address.” Slash points to the screen.

  Alain leans over to look. “Print it out. And his ID photo.”

  Slash nods and the printer hums.

  Martin grabs the papers. He’s become better at technology over the past few days, in my opinion. At least compared to where he started. He even texted me a text message the other day. It was all caps, but still—a real text. It said, “HI BRI.” I told him I was really proud. He rolled his eyes but then said, “really?” and gave me a little excited smile. I feel like we’re friends, now. Just like I am with Slash, whom I told he should be teaching at a university. I think he liked the idea; he said “huh,” and got a sort of small smile on his face. I helped him figure out his code error the other night, and he told me I was one of the smartest humans he knows, which I understand to be a great compliment.

  I even sort of consider Slash and Martin like family. It took no time at all to achieve a level of comfort with them that I rarely get with other people.

  For example, they’re so much better than my aunt and uncle, around whom I feel stiff and awkward. They’re judgmental of K…and have nothing to talk about other than the price of gas and the evilness of the opposite political party. I may have blood bonds to them, but the emotional bonds are non-existent.

  “Can I see?” I come closer to look. “I don’t know him.”

  I didn’t expect to, but you always wonder. It’s a picture of a stocky, unsmiling Caucasian man with thinning brown hair. “He looks kind of mean, although that’s maybe not fair to say.”

  “Well, he’s certainly no angel.” Slash pulls up another screen. “He routinely clocks a full twelve -hour shift, but his car leaves the lot every day at noon. He’s scamming the system somehow.”

  I eye the address. “Hey, that’s not far from Mani’s house.” At Alain’s curious look, I add, “You know, my best friend’s girlfriend?”

  He nods “yes” and looks away. I think he feels guilty because he told me not to talk to K. about any of this, and he also knows she’s the only person I can talk to.

  “I miss her.” My voice is more wistful than intended. She’s already suspicious of my extended absence—we usually hang out frequently, and I’ve had to make excuse after excuse. Every time I talk to her, she asks if I’m okay.

  “I hope you remember you can’t tell her about any of this.” Alain sounds stern.

  “My memory isn’t that bad. At least, when someone’s not tampering with it.” It’s a joke…sort of. I’ve forgiven him for trying to wipe me, since he promised never to do it again. But apparently some hurt lingers because my voice is sharper than I meant.

  “Excuse me?” Alain’s voice is cool.

  “Well, if I don’t get to see her soon, it’s not long before she’ll send out her brother or something. The cop?” I give him a look.

  “I would encourage you to prevent that.” Alain doesn’t raise his voice further, but he sounds tense. “This is the best place for you right now.”

  “I wasn’t denying that. And I can’t prevent other people from doing what they want.”

  “You keep mentioning her.”

  “Well, she’s important to me. Family. K. is like the sister I never had.”

  “You don’t want us to have to wipe her and her family, right? You know that’s a risk.” He arches a brow. “I wouldn’t want to do it, but if I had to…”

  I suck in my breath. “Are you implying that I’m going to tell her about you?” I’m irritated. “I thought you trusted me.”

  Slash makes an uh-oh face, looking from me to Alain. “Um, so back to the topic? It’s going to be day soon.” He gestures to the windows. “What do you want to do, Alain?”

  Alain has the patio door open; he’s peering out into the sky. I can smell the fresh desert air and take a deep breath.

  “We can go tomorrow night and find him.” Alain’s brisk as he turns to look at us all. “Make him tell us everything he knows about Karl and the women. It’s possible they just paid him off to turn off the alarm. But perhaps he’s part of the scheme. Tonight, we need to meet again to review data and plan.”

  “I could go.” I step closer and touch Alain’s arm. A breeze from the mountains lilts over and caresses us.

  “Go where?” All three of them stop and look at me.

  I blink. “To Wallace’s house today, when you sleep. During the day, to save time. Just to check it out. Or I could ask K. to get her brother the cop–”

  “No!” Alain’s voice is so sharp I take a step back, startled. He closes the patio door shut so hard it nearly vibrates—but I notice he forgets to set the special lock, the one he still won’t teach me to undo.

  He speaks in a normal voice, but the urgency is still there. “I forbid you to leave, Bri. It’s too dangerous.”

  “But all vampires are sleeping during the day. It would be fine for me to just drive by and check it out.”

  “If Wallace is involved, he could have lookouts with guns. Or you could tip him off that someone is investigating. And the last thing we need is the police right now to scare him away.” Alain sends a stern look.

  “Well, I was just offering to help. I mean, I feel sort of useless sitting here doing nothing.” I gesture around the house. “And stir crazy.”

  “The best way you can help is to stay safe.” Alain’s tone is flat. “Let us do this. We know how vampires work.”

  His voice is firm, but I think I see fear in his eyes underneath the sternness, and concern.

  Martin uses a gentler tone. “We just want you to be safe, Bri, like Alain said. We know how much you care about this and want to help find the missing women. Just because Wallace is not a vampire doesn’t mean he’s not a threat to you.”

  I don’t reply.

  Alain comes to me and lowers his voice. “Bri, I’m sorry I raised my voice, but it’s my job to protect you. You’re vulnerable, and I won’t have you harmed. Okay?”

  He touches my cheek. His eyes burn with passion and those other emotions, the ones he won’t speak aloud.

  I nod. “Okay.”

  But I’m still frustrated by his attitude. I’m not weak. I’m not completely helpless. I hate that he thinks of me as a zero in terms of my ability to help.

  “Be safe.” He kisses me, a quick but tender touch to my lips.

  “You too.”

  When he disappears to his lair, and Martin and Slash have darted off to their own safe spots, I’m unsettled as I sit alone in the living room that morning with the blackout shades drawn.

  Our differences, the ones that I have been trying so hard to forget, loom large in my mind.

  Being with Alain has consumed me entirely. Physically, he’s magic. Being with him is spellbinding—when it’s just us.

  But when we talk about vampire wars and death and blood sources, I recognize how utterly different our lives are. How incompatible. And it’s becoming clear that as much as he desires my body and enjoys my company, he thinks of me as completely useless when it comes to anything else.

  I don’t know how long we’re going to last together.

  But I force myself to think about something else. Because regardless of what I know to be true, I still desire him. So I’m just going to pretend things are fine…as long as I can.

  I nap for a few hours, apparently, because when I get up, it’s almost evening. My schedule is erratic; I stay awake with the vampires, but my body still wants to be awake during the day, too. I’m constantly tired and unsure of what day or time it is.<
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  I sit for a few minutes, listening to the utter silence of the house, then pick up the papers that Slash printed out. Look again at the man’s face. His address. Slash has written something below it in pen: “gets drinks every evening at the Rusted Nail Saloon.”

  I’m filled with the burning desire to show them that I am useful. I can do critical things, even if I’m human. Plus, I’m sick thinking about the missing women: If there’s a chance to help them, I want to be part of it.

  I remember that Alain never locked the patio door. Although the blackout blinds have rolled down, I can push them out of the way—and I can leave if I want to. And sure, I agreed not to go to Wallace’s house address—but I never said anything about the bar, so technically I’m not breaking a promise.

  Having made up my mind, I put on my UV garments and my face mask and grab a jacket and hat, so I can disguise myself at the bar. Luckily Tiberius brought over the entire contents of my closet, in an insanely short amount of time, so I have every garment I could possibly need.

  My car is still parked outside, as it has been since the night of Karl’s attack. It starts easily, even with its myriad mechanical foibles, and soon I’m on the way, my phone’s GPS guiding me.

  I’m excited as I drive through Alain’s secluded, hilly area to the more densely populated center of Tucson, but my enthusiasm fades as I head into the Grant/Alvernon area, and plummets as I pull up to the Rusty Nail.

  It’s not a very pretty place. For one, it looks really run down, and not in a rustic faux-old-timey way that means rich millennials are stuffing the tables. It seems like it’s ready to be condemned. Also, there are five motorcycles out front, which means I’m probably not going to fit in.

  Well, fuck. I might as well check it out.

  When I walk in, I expect to stand out instantly, but nobody cares that I arrived.